What's the dealbreakers?

So we have all asked the question - "so what's the deal?" but maybe the question should have been "what's the dealbreakers?" instead...

Being single for over a year I have learned a few lessons along the way. My biggest mistake I think was trying to make someone fit into my life when it was clear that it was wrong from the start...

So, I have compiled a list...

What's the dealbreakers? I'll tell ya...

1. A man who borrows money from his mom and dad.... on a regular basis

2. A man who texts you more than he calls

3. A man with a secret love child... or more than one baby momma

4. A man whose only form of transportation is on two wheels but can't go over 40 mph

5. A man with two nipple rings

6. A man who lives in his ex-wife's basement

7. A man who farts on the first date

8. A man who's integrity is constantly in question

9. A man who's baggage weighs more than you

10. A man - well I guess I can leave this one up to you!

I might have met my Match

Less time... tired of the bar scene.... go online?

I had few friends find success via the online dating scene so I gave it a chance.

I was very cynical at first. I stayed on the site for 48 hours and within that time my profile was viewed by 261 people and by the end of day my blackberry battery died from the amount of attention I received. There were only a handful of men that I thought were attractive from the site and I decided to wink back at one and the next thing I knew we were meeting for coffee.

By the time we met for coffee I had already hidden my profile and decided that I was not ready for online dating. I am still unsure as to why I went through with the date, but I did.

We talked for two hours and I wanted to stay longer but I had to go get my little girl so I left. We met for dinner a few days later. The connection was obvious.

So things are still going well and we have been talking for over a week.... however, I realized that there is nothing stopping him from continuing with his online dating...

Who knows maybe it is not a match not made in heaven...

He has the runs

So went out with Mr. Toots - again.

Lets back track a little. I told you Mr. Toots was perfect on paper - good body, great job, nice house, etc. Did I mention he got his body from being an accomplished triathlete and Ironman competitor.

So our date consisted of drinks with mutual friends, a party and an overnight at his immaculate home. We had a great time at the parties but we just have zero chemistry. ZERO. My dad would love this guy - he's never touched me.

Anyhow, the next morning we woke up to go for a run. It was my first run back in almost 10 years and we ran 4.5 miles. I was so excited to be back out there and running with someone who was encouraging and experienced. Now sure, I was breathing heavy and probably red as beet and maybe not the best running mate for an accomplished athlete, but I didn't know what was about to hit me.

Mr. Toots began to pass air and I don't mean run fast... I mean fart. There was a continuous rain falling on our heads and I am certain that his farts were wetter than the ground. It was by far one of the most disgusting moments of my life.

Me, "Are you sure you didn't poop your pants."

"Um yeah... I am having a rough morning."

You think???? Good God. I like his honesty...

but its time to RUN