So I came down with a nasty cold that kept me from taking a trip out of town. However, as luck would have it I think it was the best thing that could have happened. I was able to get a lot down around my house and spend some quality time with Artist. On Thursday night we stayed in, Friday night we went out for a date in the city, and Saturday we played squash and he took me to a dinner to meet his best friend. Sunday was a day filled with lots of leisure a late breakfast, tennis, lunch outdoors, followed by throwing the football around and right before my departure we looked at the calendar to make plans.
After spending 3 nights in a row with him and the fact we looked at the calendar you would think my confidence level for where this relationship is headed would be through the roof. Instead I wonder where the hell his head is. I used to consider myself a decent tennis player. He killed me. Three straight sets 6-0. In tennis, like most sports, to be really good you have to have focus, keep your eye on the ball, and never let your opponent get in your head. Relationships are similar. Generally speaking the game comes from worrying and wondering what the other person is doing and why. Or it could just be me. I tend to over-analyze. Why would he would say a certain thing, or what a certain action means and then I allow it to effect my response. Or is that what a good player does -- react to the opponent?
So herein lies the problem how can one learn the rules of the game in relationships when they are constantly shifting? It is almost as if no one is really ever playing the same game. In fact, one of my best guy friends said "Don't over-analyze. Don't look for something wrong. You always do that." Maybe he's right. I tend to size up my guys and pick them apart. Sure the Artist doesn't like to call a lot. Is it just me? Did he call old girlfriends? Maybe introducing someone he is dating to his friends isn't a big deal... you see my mind starts to analyze.
Maybe instead of looking at post-game tapes or dates in this case. I need to be on the high of a winning streak and keep doing what I am doing because right now its working. As for the rules of the game. If you know them - let me know.
My mind goes crazy with 'what ifs' and possibilities too.
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't there written rules of dating? Something from on high like the ten commandments would be perfect. 'Thou shall not call more than two days after a date'. 'Thou shall wear clean underwear when out on a third date'. I wish these existed! I would follow them no matter how crazy, just to have some dating order!!!